Adventures In Drive-Thru Lanes





Its 4am at Chilly Palmers, this is my self imposed curfew for weeknights, specially when I'm drinking solo. I’m Britished out at this point, which basically means I’m drunk enough that I might end up driving on the left side of the road. As soon as I leave the parking lot I realize I'm starving, fucking drunk munchies, good thing there is a Jack in the Box on the way home.

I get in the drive-thru and there is one car ahead of me ordering at the speaker. I pull up behind it and wait. I put on some different music and throw it in park and wait for him to pull up. He is taking forever and it’s pissing me off because I'm drunk driving and now I am sitting in a drive-thru that parallels a major street in Las Vegas where cops always drive by. The Henderson P.D. Green Valley substation is less than a mile away.

I blink my eyes and pick my head up. The car ahead of me is gone. The lights are all out at Jack in the Box. My car is still running, and worst of all, I look directly ahead and see the light from the sun starting to come up. I look quick at the time, 5:52am. Holy holy holy shit. I’ve been sitting here passed out in this lane for almost two hours. Why the fuck didn't the Jack in the Box people come wake me up? Fuck it, I gotta get outta here. I casually put it in drive and pull through the overhang, pass the order window and pull out onto the main street and go home.

I get home at about 6am, VegasTits is in my bed and she gets woken up because my dog is jumping up and down on the bed, happy that I'm finally home.

VegasTits: Geez BD the sun is coming up, late night at Chilly Palmers?

BD:    Yea, I was playing the new Golden Tee and time just kinda slipped by.

VegasTits:  You don't seem that drunk for getting home at 6am.

BD:   I'm learning to take it easy, I'm maturing.

VegasTits:  I don't want to know, good night.