Escape From The Library





We're at the Library strip club on Boulder Highway in Las Vegas. It’s a real shithole of a strip club. The dancers are pregnant, grandmas and chicks with bullet wounds. No lie. Fuck this, I'm tired, drunk and I hate strip clubs anyway. I'm here with BGT, Brake and AlexJones. I can't stay awake any longer so I go outside and jump in the j30 and go to sleep in the driver’s side.

The guys come out after an hour or two and find me sleeping in my car. I have the car running and all the doors locked and my cell phone is in my hand, I guess I passed out texting someone. They knock on the windows and it doesn't wake me up. They start calling my cell phone and that doesn't wake me up. Now they are taking a video of me sleeping, with my cell phone in my hand ringing and them banging on my windows. I get sent the video the next morning. 

After I finally wake up BGT jumps in shotgun and AlexJones gets in the back. Brake jumps in his own ride and pulls out. I’m right behind him and see him turn right when leaving the parking lot. I thought that was weird at first because we both live south of the Library, which is to the left. Whatever, I pull out and turn left to get into the southbound lanes. If you know this spot, you know what happened.

There is no left turn lane here. And boulder highway has a giant dirt ditch in the middle of the north and south lanes. Its about 30 feet wide and is probably about 10 feet lower than the paved lanes. When my car hits the bottom, I think it was then that I woke up.

BGT:  Whoa whoa whoa what the fuck man!

BD: Shit this is Boulder Highway what am I doing!?!?

BGT:   Dude are you awake?

BD:  I am now!!!!

My car is still going forward, I've probably ruined my front bumper and all I could think of was that I needed to get onto the south bound lanes before a cop sees us. They are ALL over in this area, especially at 3am and my car is throwing up a huge dust cloud now as I’m driving through the median.

BGT:   Dude your car is fucked we need to take a look at it.

BD:     No fucking way I ain't stopping here you crazy?

AlexJones:   Seriously, get the fuck out of here NOW, I have weed on me!

Ah shit. I'm drunk driving half awake in a ditch between the paved parts of Boulder Highway and now we have illegal drugs on us. That's all I needed to hear. I'm pretty sure I can jump this bitch onto the southbound lanes. It almost looks like it’s a ramp in some areas, but some areas it’s just a dirt wall.

BD:      I can make it.

BGT:     Make what? No way! You have to be towed outta here.

BD:     You have your seatbelt on?

BGT:    Yea. Why?

AlexJones:  I do! Fucking do it BD!

BGT:     Oh god...

I gunned it. The j30 has some balls when it needs to. I'm driving on dirt, dodging bushes and branches heading for the most slanted part of the dirt wall I could see to jump onto the southbound lanes. I hit it at about 25 mph and I must have hit my head because the next thing I knew we were driving down boulder highway, on paved road.

I hear non stop honking on the side of me. Oh shit that's Brake, he must have seen what just happened. He pulls up along side us as were driving and yells out his window to us...

Brake:  Dude are you fucking awake, do you know what you just did?

BD:      Did I get air?

BGT:    Get me out of this car he’s fucking sleep driving!

BD:      Shut up fag I'm awake now.  You ok in back?

We look back and he has his mouth stuffed full of weed.

BGT:     Are you eating that shit?

BD:       What the hell?

AlexJones:   Dude we’re fucking going to jail, someone had to have seen that.

He was so scared he ate all the weed he was carrying. We got back to the house OK and I get out to look at my car. Not only am I in a good mood because I’m drunk, but shit I’m just happy that I didn't get caught doing all that, so mentally I'm prepared for however bad the damage is....Not a scratch.

I loved that car.